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Your Body Isn't Porn. So Why Does Social Media Treat It Like It Is?

Your Body Isn't Porn. So Why Does Social Media Treat It Like It Is?

Oct 22
6 min read

Why doctors are forced to speak in code, women's health conversations are treated as inappropriate, and it's time we stopped infantilizing the internet.


By Joseph Haecker | Founder, Sxgram

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I'm a guy.


Let's get that out of the way first.


I'm not a gynecologist. I'm not a women's health expert. And I'm certainly not going to pretend I understand what it's like to be a woman trying to navigate conversations about her own body.


But I am a man who has spent a considerable amount of time building social media platforms, studying how they operate, and questioning who gets to decide what we're allowed to discuss.


And there's something about the current state of social media that I find absolutely ridiculous.


We've reached a point where grown adults are expected to use baby words to discuss basic human anatomy.


Think about that for a moment.


Imagine Your Gynecologist Saying "Seggs"


Picture yourself sitting in a gynecologist's office.


Your doctor walks in, pulls up a chair, and starts explaining your reproductive health.


But instead of using medically accurate terminology, they begin speaking in euphemisms.


They avoid saying "vagina."


They substitute "seggs" for "sex."


They dance around discussions of breasts, reproductive organs, and sexual health because those words might make somebody uncomfortable.


You'd probably wonder whether you'd walked into the wrong doctor's office.


Yet somehow, we've normalized this behavior on social media.


Medical professionals, sexual wellness educators, reproductive health advocates, and women's health influencers routinely navigate platform restrictions, automated moderation, and fears of reduced visibility.


Some adopt euphemisms to avoid potentially triggering moderation systems. Others carefully phrase educational content to reduce the risk of having it removed or restricted.


And we've collectively accepted that as the cost of participating in social media.


Why?


When Did the Human Body Become Inappropriate?


Here's a question I genuinely want people to consider:

How did we become so uncomfortable with the human body that simply discussing it can be treated as inappropriate?


Breasts are anatomy.


Vaginas are anatomy.


Penises are anatomy.


Menstruation, menopause, pregnancy, fertility, sexual health, and reproductive medicine are legitimate subjects of education and discussion.


None of those subjects automatically constitutes pornography.


Yet on major social platforms, legitimate educational conversations can run into moderation challenges because their terminology, imagery, or subject matter overlaps with categories that platforms regulate.


To be fair, platforms have real reasons to moderate sexual content. Protecting minors, preventing exploitation, and removing illegal material are important responsibilities.


But somewhere between protecting people and protecting corporate interests, we've created an environment where legitimate adult conversations can become collateral damage.


A person's body isn't pornography. Pornography is pornography.


That distinction shouldn't be controversial.


Who Gets to Decide What Women Can Discuss?


This is where my frustration goes beyond social media algorithms.


Many of the world's most influential technology companies have historically been led by men.


And these companies establish policies that shape how billions of people communicate.


That includes what women can say about their bodies.


What reproductive health educators can demonstrate.


What sexual wellness professionals can explain.


And what medical practitioners feel comfortable publishing.


Now add another layer.


Banks, payment processors, advertisers, and other financial institutions influence which businesses and categories of content digital platforms are willing to support.


These organizations have legitimate compliance obligations and commercial considerations. But their risk policies can also create incentives for platforms to restrict lawful adult-oriented subjects broadly rather than distinguish carefully between education, commerce, and explicit entertainment.


The result?


A handful of powerful institutions can exert enormous influence over what the rest of us feel comfortable discussing online.


And I have a problem with that.


I don't believe women should have to ask permission from male-dominated technology companies to discuss their own anatomy.


I don't believe a doctor should have to invent a vocabulary to explain reproductive health.


And I don't believe financial institutions should effectively become the arbiters of what constitutes an acceptable adult conversation.


This isn't about eliminating moderation.


It's about asking whether our moderation standards make sense for the audiences they're supposed to serve.



We're Trying to Make Every Social Network Appropriate for Everyone


Consider how different social networks originally developed.


Facebook was built around connecting people.


LinkedIn developed around professional networking.


Instagram and Snapchat became especially popular for visual sharing and younger audiences.


Over time, these platforms expanded into enormous communities serving people of practically every age and background.


That creates a complicated problem.


How do you build a single environment that accommodates teenagers, parents, grandparents, doctors, educators, entertainers, and adult-oriented businesses?


Often, the answer is to establish broadly restrictive rules intended to keep the platform acceptable to the widest possible audience.


I understand the business logic.


But I question the assumption behind it.


Why should every conversation on the internet have to be appropriate for children?


We already recognize that different spaces serve different audiences.


A children's television network doesn't operate under the same programming expectations as an adult-oriented cable channel.


A medical conference doesn't need to use the vocabulary of a kindergarten classroom.


An adult discussion group doesn't need to structure every conversation around the possibility that a thirteen-year-old might be listening.


So why do we expect social media to work differently?



Protecting Children Shouldn't Mean Infantilizing Adults


Let me be very clear.


I believe children deserve protection online.


I believe platforms should take meaningful steps to prevent minors from accessing inappropriate material.


And I believe adults have a responsibility to create safer digital environments for younger audiences.


But protecting children and restricting adults are not the same thing.


We should be able to do one without automatically doing the other.


Imagine an online community where membership is restricted to adults.


Where people understand they're entering a space intended for mature audiences.


Where lawful discussions about sexual health, reproductive medicine, adult relationships, entrepreneurship, and human sexuality aren't automatically treated as inappropriate simply because children might encounter them.


That's a fundamentally different starting point.


It doesn't mean anything goes.


Adult communities still need rules, moderation, safeguards, and accountability.


But those standards can be developed around the needs of adults rather than assuming every conversation must be suitable for a child.


Adults deserve spaces where they can be adults.



This Is One of the Reasons I Built Sxgram


When I started building Sxgram, I wasn't interested in creating another social network just to compete for people's attention.


The internet already has plenty of those.


I was interested in a different question:


What would social media look like if we designed it specifically for grown-ups?


Not just adult content creators.


Not just the adult entertainment industry.


Grown-ups.

Doctors.

Women's health advocates.

Sexual wellness educators.

Entrepreneurs.

Relationship experts.

Podcasters.

Researchers.

Creators.


And everyday adults who want to discuss mature subjects without constantly translating their thoughts into language designed to appease an algorithm.



That's the vision behind Sxgram: Social Media for Adults


An 18+ social platform designed to support lawful adult conversations, creators, and businesses.


A community where being an adult isn't treated as a problem to be solved.


Where conversations about human sexuality and reproductive health can be recognized for what they are, rather than automatically confused with pornography.


And where professionals who work in these fields have an opportunity to connect with an audience that has chosen to participate in an adult environment.


Of course, building that environment comes with responsibilities. Age restrictions must be meaningful. Moderation must address illegal and harmful activity. Privacy, consent, and user safety matter.


Simply labeling a platform 18+ doesn't solve those challenges.


But it gives us a different foundation on which to build.



An Invitation to Women's Health Professionals


If you're a gynecologist, reproductive health specialist, sex educator, sexual wellness professional, or women's health advocate, I want to extend a personal invitation.


Come help shape Sxgram.


Not because I believe I know what women's health conversations should look like.


Quite the opposite.


Because I believe the people who actually understand these subjects should have a greater voice in shaping how they're discussed.


I want doctors to be able to communicate with the accuracy their professions demand.


I want educators to share information without feeling compelled to replace legitimate medical terms with childish euphemisms.


I want women to feel that their health, anatomy, and experiences deserve serious discussion.


And I want us to build a community where the people participating help establish what responsible adult conversation looks like.


Sxgram is still growing. We're not claiming to have solved every challenge that comes with building an adult-focused social platform.


But we are willing to challenge assumptions that other platforms have accepted for years.


And I'd rather build that future alongside the experts than pretend I have all the answers.


It's Time We Started Acting Like Grown-Ups


I keep coming back to the same question.


How strange is it that we've developed artificial intelligence, sent spacecraft to other planets, and built technology capable of connecting billions of people instantly...


Yet we're uncomfortable letting a doctor say the word "vagina" on social media?


How did we get here?


And more importantly, why are we accepting it?


I'm not advocating for a world without boundaries.


I'm advocating for a world where those boundaries make sense.


Where pornography is recognized as pornography.


Where medical education is recognized as medical education.


Where women's bodies aren't automatically sexualized simply because they exist.


And where adults are trusted to participate in mature conversations within appropriately designed communities.


The human body isn't icky.


It's human.


And it's time our social networks grew up.



Joseph Haecker

Founder, Sxgram


Sxgram — Social Media for Adults.


Join the conversation: https://www.sxgram.com


Are you a medical professional, women's health expert, or sexual wellness educator? I'd love to hear what you think adult-focused social media should do differently.

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